Sunday, June 11, 2006

Al Gore Issues Fatwa Against Colorado Climatologists

Once again, Al Fin has penetrated the protective shield of climate police that surrounds US Presidential Candidate and Climate Empresario Al Gore, in order to obtain another special interview. This time, Al Gore is furious over a Denver Post article that quotes Colorado climatologists Bill Gray and Roger Pielke Sr.

AF: Thank you for speaking with me today, Mr. Gore. I understand that you have issued a climate fatwa against two climate scientists from Colorado. Can you give more details for my readers?

Gore: Say, haven't I seen you somewhere before?

AF: Uh, no sir, I do not believe so. Would you mind commenting on this climate fatwa you recently issued?

Gore: Okay, but you sure do remind me of somebody . . . anyway, I read about these two jerks in the Denver Post. Gray and Spelke, or something like that. They're using words like "hoax" and "hysteria" to describe global warming. I was forced to respond.

AF: Yes. Well, in that article you mention, It says:

Both Gray and Pielke say there are many younger scientists who voice their concerns about global warming hysteria privately but would never jeopardize their careers by speaking up.

"Plenty of young people tell me they don't believe it," he [Gray] says. "But they won't touch this at all. If they're smart, they'll say: 'I'm going to let this run its course.' It's a sort of mild McCarthyism. I just believe in telling the truth the best I can. I was brought up that way."

Gore: Why that goldarned infidel--I mean, that wingnut religious right partisan! I was right to issue that fatwa!

AF: But sir, should not scientists have the freedom to express their opinions on their subject of expertise?

Gore: Not if it's in my area of political control they don't! Son, the more I think about it, the more you remind me of a smartass blogger that interviewed me about my film.

AF: Well, um, I do look like a lot of people. I am told that a lot. . . .

Gore: Son, are you of the body?

AF: (suddenly notices the climate police closing in) Mr. Gore, thank you very much for your time. It has been enlightening. (steps through a door into a stairwell just a few steps ahead of the CP)

Gore: (to the nearest CP) Go get that sunuvabich and take him to Landru immediately!
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