Are You "Of the Body" Brother? Have You Found Landru?
Al Fin: Thank you for speaking with me today, Mr. Gore . . .
A.G.: Please, brother, call me brother. Are you of the body?
Al Fin: Well, (clears throat), brother, not really.
A.G.: You must go to Landru, and be absorbed. The survival of the earth depends on it.
Al Fin: Yes, uh, brother, but I wondered . . .
A.G.: You may not call me brother until you are absorbed into the body of Landru. You must go at once.
Al Fin: Yes, of course, Mr. Gore, certainly. First I would like for you to answer a few questions about your recent motion picture. Some blogs have reacted negatively to your picture, and the Washington Post printed an article featuring global warming skeptics. How do you feel about this opposition?
A.G.: The same way I feel about any moron who contradic--er, I mean to say, you will understand everything once you are of the body. Why are you still here? Why do you not go at once to Landru?
Al Fin: By all means, Mr. Gore, in a moment. Mr. Gore, some people are likening your film and your activities in the climate change movement to a propaganda campaign of religious proportions. Some feel that you are like a huckster revivalist, cynically using ordinary people's vague fears about the environment, and amplifying them to a revivalist frenzy last seen in the days of McCarthyism, and before that, the witch hunters.
A.G.: Son, I have friends who could make you disap--er, what I'm trying to say is, I am a true servant of Landru. If you do not go to Landru immediately for absorption, I'll be forced to call the Climate Police to take you directly to Landru. Once you are absorbed, all questions will be answered, and you will understand the peace of the body in Landru.
Al Fin: (looking around, notices guards closing in from three directions) Thank you very much, Mr. Gore. My readers will be very enlightened by this interview (runs in the one direction not occupied by guards).